Well.. Hi everyone!
I don't actually know what this journal should be.. and what I should make of it.. so I'll make anything I need out of it.

I actually thought it could have lasted forever, and I was wrong, totally wrong. And I wasn't even glad to find that out. Anyway, it was a weird sensation. But so deadly natural. I just felt.. what every other person in love on the earth feels.. the ground shaking, the hands shaking, the mind and heart shaking. I was breaking up, and it was so terribly suffocating me. And that sorrow, for the first time in my life, wasn't a sweet pleasure. I found it very difficult, to give up my pride.. or at least the remained pride after two years and a half.
If five minutes before I felt I was the one ruling, the one who could decide where to stop the quarrel.. well then I was no more that person. I was the one crying, burning in my own tears, just a prey to Sorrow's fangs.
I was shouting, then whispering sweetly. Then I felt my throat close,my breath took away from Pain's gentle fingers...
I lost my warm shelter, I lost my evrything. And before that.. I lost my friends, my family.. just because I was too naive. More than naive, I was stupid. I almost forgot the people in my life because I thought that my world could have been lived by me and him. Me, Him and nothing else, two lovers, what else? Nothing else but my stupid, naive, innocent fantasy.
It didn't go that way. He needed time without me, he needed.. what? Anything but me.

And here I go, I begin walking again with my own lonely pace, the cadence of my own breath to comfort me.

Just because I wasn't able to keep his pace?

I feel like.. I don't want anyone else in my life. Not because I think think I couldn't fall in love again or because he was special to me (all lovers are, aren't them?).. but.. I don't want to see again years of my life getting lost, going away with a person.. like this.
Too terrifying sensation.